Masculinity and the Pressure of Performance - Group Support

Please check the ticket confirmation email for practical information.

Please arrive on time. Unfortunately, we won’t be able to open the door after the event begins. This helps ensure everyone receives the introduction and is informed of the group agreements.

At this event, we will be exploring dominant masculinity norms, particularly the idea that men always desire sex and are always ready for it. We will look at what happens when reality doesn’t match this expectation, especially in moments when the body doesn’t respond as anticipated.

This gathering is open to people of all genders and is intended as a collaborative space. Together, we will question norms that don’t reflect lived experience and explore more honest and supportive ways of navigating situations that unfold differently than expected.

In many parts of the world, masculinity is closely tied to the belief that men are always sexually ready, that desire is constant, and that the body should easily follow. This expectation plays a powerful role in how men are perceived, and how they perceive themselves. But reality is often more complex. There are times when a man doesn’t get hard, even when he wants to, and the pressure around it can make things even more difficult.

Because erections are so closely linked to ideas of masculinity, many men find it hard to talk about these experiences. At the same time, partners may feel unsure about how to respond or support in these moments.

In this conversation, we bring these experiences into the open. We will explore the expectations placed on men, how they shape behavior and self-image, why the body sometimes responds differently, and what options exist for both men and their partners when this happens.

The discussion is both a space to gently challenge the idea that men must always be ready for sex, and an invitation to explore alternative ways of giving and receiving pleasure, beyond performance, and closer to presence.

Host

Cecilie is an anthropologist and a feminist, currently completing a PhD at the University of Oxford, where she has focused on masculinity, marriage, and the gendered division of labour in the Pakistani middle class. She also has a Master’s degree in Gender Studies from SOAS, and has worked with gender issues in the socialist left in Norway as well as while running a farm and a school for many years in Pakistan. Although originating in Norway, she has spent half her life in other countries, resulting in a transnational life and identity. She is dedicated to creating a gender equal society, and believes that it is important to work with men, and to understand their lives and experiences, to achieve this.

Please note that tickets are non-refundable unless the event is cancelled by us.

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